It is time for my latest blog, just before the end of 2016!

I hope the Christmas period has gone okay for you.

For me, Christmas can be a bit of a mixed bag. I love all the decorations and glitter and some of the nice food. But for me, I spent lots of Christmases with my parents, and they are no longer alive, so the day has a bit of an emptiness to it. Because I am gay, I have never had kids of my own, and in my family, there is no communication with my brothers. More often than not, my favourite day is Boxing Day when the whole thing is finished.
Anyhoo, however you spent the day, I hope it was good for you or at least not too torturous!

Christmas here in the Dominican Republic, is totally different to the ones celebrated in gringo countries. Dominicans get together for a big celebration on Christmas Eve and that is it! Christmas day is basically a non-event except for gringos here. On Christmas Day, I caught up with a couple of friends, so that was kind of nice, but it certainly wasn’t the same as the old times with my parents.

Today, being Boxing Day, is a total non-event here. When I went out about 1 PM to meet a friend for coffee, I discovered that all the people who work here at the condominium, were all back at work. I explained to them in my basic Spanish, that in gringo countries, today would be a holiday. They jokingly put down their rakes, like they were going to go home.

As I look back at the year that has just been, I would say it has been a year of many ups and downs, both in the world and in my life, and in the lives of many people I know too. It has not been a disaster year, although the year has seen its fair share of disasters. Good things have happened, but many challenges too.

2016 has seen the deaths of so many celebrities. David Bowie has gone as have so many others, and now as the year’s clock approaches midnight, George Michael has joined the departures. I did not love all his music, but ‘Jesus to a child’ was a song that I loved immensely. I did not know what the song was about except that it was very poignant. Last night as I searched for the song upon hearing of George’s death, I discovered it was his musical eulogy to his partner who died of AIDS in the 1990s. When I learnt that, it reminded me of so many people I had as friends or worked with, who also died of AIDS during that time. It is indeed a beautiful song and memorial to his partner, and will now be a memorial to him as well. I did not know a lot about George Michael until I googled him last night. Of course, I knew all his famous songs, and I was pretty sure that he was gay, because mainly knowing about his arrest in Los Angeles when cruising in a toilet and being set up by a police officer. At the time, I had not followed the whole story but I knew he had been encouraged into the illegal activity by the police officer. I also read that he had been arrested several times for driving under the influence etc. We tend to live in a world where we judge each other very quickly for our errors, and I can see that I had judged George Michael too. But now that I read more information about him, I recognise that he was human like we all are. He had desires like we all do, and he had various issues like we all do. His use of drugs and other things were his responses to challenges, seeking relief from pain, depression and other challenges. I read that ‘Jesus to a child’ and maybe the other songs from that album, was the only work that he had managed to achieve in the three years following the death of his partner. This to me shows that he was a person who dealt with trauma and challenges like all of us.

For me, the AIDS crisis occurred around the same time that I was coming out. In the years that followed, I had a job working at a gay nightclub in Sydney and maybe half the people I worked with had HIV or AIDS. It was a time when I kept to myself quite a bit, but despite that, I still knew many people who died. There were guys I knew who suicided rather than go through the decline in health. There were people who helped in many organisations, and which I was involved in for a while. Having seen people and friends with AIDS left me with great clarity about always using protection.

When I was a child growing up, I lived in a family where everyone was quite independent and there was also depression. I think the first 10 years of our lives create a lot of our ways of operating. For me, I have often suffered from low self-esteem, and being alone is something that became a habit through my childhood, and continues pretty much to this day. I have some friends, but I also quite enjoy being on my own, and in some ways it’s easier being on my own. Looking at my adult life, I have spent more time not in a relationship, then in a relationship, and after a while, that becomes my normal.

So, Christmas and other times of social gathering like birthdays and New Year, are times that can feel not so great. They tend to bring up my issues of how much I am well connected to others versus alone. Getting through Christmas is bigger for me than Christmas. Yippee! Christmas is over! Is it sacrilegious to say such a thing? Probably not, when Christmas is more about celebration and consumerism than the birth of Jesus, at least in the world that we live in today. Anyway, it is a pagan festival acquired by early Christians. No one seems to know what date when Jesus was born.

Generally, my life is pretty good, but for me celebrations feel like a pressure to be happy, and that kind of screws things up. When there is no pressure to be happy, it is easier to be happy! Ha ha!

As I look back at 2016, I would say that it has been an okay year. Not a brilliant year. Not a terrible year. Not so much success in relationships, but that is not confined to 2016! Being in a country where there is incredible poverty means that lots of people are seeking your friendship, but probably more so your fiscal support. Being on a break from work, means that I live carefully and keep my spending under control. Many foreigners who come from wealthier countries, quickly learn that making friends in poorer countries can be expensive. The government here operates hospitals of a very questionable level so that alone means that if you are friends with a Dominican or Haitian here, and they or their family have a medical challenge, they need to buy all their medicines and probably also pay to go to a clinic. Many people here have no work so money is needed for education of children, food, water, clothing and anything else.

The best things about this year living in the Dominican Republic, is that I have not needed to work and have been able to live economically. The weather is warm if not hot. I have a great swimming pool to swim in every day. I have lots of time for writing, provided I am not inflicted with the Dominican malaise.

2016 has been a revelationary year with Bernie Sanders attempting to win the Democratic party nomination in the US presidential election. He failed, but only because the people’s choice was denied in favour of Hillary Clinton and her power clique of the party. Her alliances with corporations made the party look very unappealing to many working-class Americans, and now the US will soon be led by a billionaire with extremely questionable associations for supporting expansionist war, racist ideologies, a denial of climate change and more concern with money making than any protection for the environment. Because the US is a very powerful nation, what happens in that country, can be very influential for the rest of the world. Bernie Sanders being a democratic socialist, gave a lot of vision for people all around the world, about the idea that people come before profit, and should this new economic approach take hold in the US, there is a good chance it can then percolate for all people of the world.

Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Visualise the best.

I do cognitive training on a daily basis to guide my mental outlook. I listen to a lot of Louise Hay’s meditations and lectures as well as lectures by Abraham Hicks. This generally gives me a positive direction.

However, as I look at the state of the world, I have great concerns about where things are heading. I try to imagine great outcomes for myself and the world, but what I am also seeing in the world makes me think that humanity is not going to make it. It is a strange combination of states that I have in my life, in how I look at these things. I try to be an optimist and promote positive ideas, thoughts and strategies including ideas for protecting the environment and promoting economic justice and decency for everyone. I refuse to believe that these things will not come to happen, so I maintain my writing and other educational work.

But, as I look at the state of the world, there are some pretty tragic things occurring and it seems that many people do not understand, do not want to understand, do not do much, do not want to do much, have given up, don’t give a damn. Education about things like the environment remain limited especially in the developing world. Many people experience powerlessness, so do not speak. In the last two weeks, the situation of weather has shown some more alarming signs, yet it seems like many people are unaware or do not understand or do not care. Or maybe I am catastrophising. The latest weather event was called a polar vortex. Extreme cold weather broke out of the Arctic and travelled down into North America and parts of Europe. It snowed in the Sahara Desert for the first time in 30 years. Temperatures in North America dropped by 30° in one day. Here in the Dominican Republic it has been raining and flooding for two months with predictions that it will continue for another month. The North Pole was measured last week to be 30° warmer than is normal for this time of year. In Australia, I hear that 70% of the coral in the Great Barrier Reef is already bleached, the first stage of warming waters. The warming of the earth by increased CO2, is seeing great amounts of heat being drawn into the oceans which is predicted to lead to acidification. Slightly warmer air and water temperatures at this stage, but like most lagging effects, worse damage has already been done; we are just waiting for the effects to be shown.

Meanwhile, it is business as usual, with the runaway train of the world capitalist system, run now by huge corporations answerable to their shareholders, operating in pursuit of large profits before any other concern. Australia is embarking on a new coal mine that will be the biggest in the country, New Zealand plans to convert an electrical train line to diesel, and here in the Dominican Republic plans are underway to build a new power station burning coal. Corporations in alliance with various leaders around the world, continue to demonstrate that monetary profit is their greatest concern. Most people in the developing world lack a voice, certainly on the international stage, and most people in wealthier countries struggle to elect leaders with moral integrity.

Who knows how all this will play out?

As I already said, I refuse to give in to the pessimism and accept that economic and environmental failure and catastrophe awaits us. There would be no power in that. And we must not give up hope. But at the same time, we must not put our heads in the sand and pretend everything is okay when the signs are pointing to an emergency. A recent statement by an environmental scientist said that previous scenarios are no longer valid, and that human life has 10 years left. Let’s hope that he is wrong, but with what we are currently witnessing, maybe his analysis is totally correct.

Wouldn’t it be nicer if I were saying everything is working out perfectly and it’s all looking great? Everything is going to be fine and I’m feeling very optimistic! Let’s hope that’s the case! There is more to come from me in 2017. Thanks for reading.